Whether you’re thinking about your fertility, conception or you’re struggling to conceive. You’re likely to have bouts of anxiety. Whether you’re dealing with infertility, you’re pregnant or you have miscarried. You’re almost certainly dealing with anxiety at the minimum. Whether you’re about to give birth, or if you have a small person. Chances are, anxiety will too be ever-present….

Sadly, it seems an increasingly common part of our society. It is great that we are talking about it more. However:

We also need practical tools to deal with anxiety.

We were lucky enough to have recorded an epic podcast. Going deep on the subject of anxiety and the modern woman. Featuring one of our lovely expert advisors: Emmy Brunner.

Here at the Journey we are all about cutting through the ‘noise’ with hard science and leading experts. Particularly around the delicate topic of mental health.

Emmy is a psychotherapist with over 15yrs experience and is an expert on women’s mental health. She is also CEO of The Recover Clinic and mother of two. Plus an author (check out here book here). During our chat with her we touched on everything from modern dating, to negative self-talk, to anxiety around conception, pregnancy, giving birth and the infamous ‘mum-guilt’.

What came up loud and clear is that often in the face of many of our modern challenges as women, we tend to put ourselves bottom of the pile. The trouble is, when we put our needs last, at some point we are likely to run into trouble. No matter what stage of life you’re in.

Click here for the full podcast or here for the full article. Or, if you just want to get straight into the ‘action points’. Here they are:

Emmy’s top tips for managing anxiety:

ONE: Get mindful of how you speak to yourself. Have you ever really thought about how you speak to yourself on a daily basis? Many of us have a tendency to engage in negative and critical self-talk. Often without even realising.

You know that voice calling yourself an ‘idiot’ for burning something in the oven. Or that critical voice when we realise we have forgotten to pack a PE kit? First thing is to start to notice it. You’ll probably be surprised how often you do it. It is a quick way to chronic anxiety.

TWO: challenge yourself to have a compassionate response. You would never tolerate another person standing next to you saying the things you often say to yourself. We tend to be very hard on ourselves. Speaking to yourself in a kind and loving way can be transformative.

THREE: Give yourself permission to try and behave differently. To see what happens if you start speaking in a way that is kinder to yourself.

Make it manageable:

FOUR: start off small. We have often learnt over a long period of time to speak this way to ourselves. You cannot expect it to undo in a day. Start of by noticing it. Then challenge yourself every day to be conscious of it. Often people try and make huge sweeping changes. It’s best to start small. 

FIVE: Practise: the more you shift your behaviour, the easier it will get. Soon it will go from being a conscious action to an unconscious part of every day life. This can be transformative for anxiety.

Shift your focus…

SIX: stop focusing on what you don’t want and what you fear. Shift to what you do want. Many of us get very focused on the things we fear the most. As soon as we actively focus our attention on what we actually want and become kind to ourselves that is when miracles can happen.

SEVEN: Trust and acceptance. Often we are scrambling to try and control everything and change our situation. Sometimes switching our mindset and trusting that we are where we are meant to be in this given moment can be very powerful. Putting your faith in something bigger than yourself can take a huge amount of pressure off. At that point you realise that it is not all on you to make everything happen. A great way to loosen anxiety’s grip.

EIGHT: Meditation. This has shown massive results reducing anxiety. The key is to start small. Experiment to find what works for you. Give yourself permission to explore and be creative. Be compassionate. Understand that you may find it tough at first. Don’t set out big rules and expectations. It shouldn’t be a chore. Find a way you enjoy. Then its just practise. The more you do the easier it will get.

for the ‘how to’ realistic way to get into meditation for conception, pregnancy, birth and beyond –  click here 

NINE: listen to your instincts. Listening and trusting that inner voice can be very powerful. Building trust and confidence in it can be challenging. Don’t do things that are in conflict with your intuitive compassionate self. When you’re in conflict and not listening to yourself you will quickly find anxiety rising.

TEN: Give yourself permission to prioritise yourself. Do things that make you happy and make you feel better. Whether it is being out in nature, taking time to meditate or even seeing a good friend. Realising that you are valuable and are worthy of care is the key. Often we put our needs last. Ultimately we are in a better position to care for those that we love, as soon as we love and look after ourselves. If that means asking for help and support that’s ok. 

To see more from Emmy click here. Or see her on instagram @emmybrunneroffical. Click here for our full podcast with her on anxiety. Or check out The Recover clinic here. 

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This article is for informational purposes only. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice. The information on this website has been developed following years of personal research and from referenced and sourced medical research. Before making any changes we strongly recommend you consult a healthcare professional before you begin.

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